It causes emotional trauma or stress. When having to deal with the silent treatment, it can be a very draining and painful experience.It’s manipulative behaviour and a very unhealthy form of communication. The primary characteristic of the silent treatment is not talking to the person. Your first reaction may be frustration, anger, or upset. If the silent treatment lasts beyond a short season, then it has gone over the line of a healthy response to a heated situation and into a very destructive and harmful form of emotional abuse. He hasn’t been home when we’ve attempted to visit him. More than likely nothing of any significance. We all have an inherent need to belong. It might stop the silent treatment for the time being but it will most definitely come up again. Treat silence with silence. No longer is it about cooling down and trying to figure out a solution to the problem; it has now become a way to punish and control the other person. A narcissist uses the silent treatment to abuse their victim. How the Silent Treatment Sabotages You (And Your Relationships) Here are 5 ways the silent treatment is more damaging than you know: 1. People who haven’t been taught to care effectively for others in a household will use the … There is no need to waste emotional energy fretting over their moods. If the silent treatment is taken too far, it’s becomes emotional abuse. Instead, appear (and truly feel, if possible) relaxed and positive. Call them out on it instead of taking it quietly. It is tempting to respond to silent treatment with the silent treatment of your own. *Expand* SUBSCRIBE for weekly videos: https://bit.ly/2PRGHvI FOLLOW ME on Instagram: https://bit.ly/2zgbx70 SHOP AMAZON AND SUPPORT NancyTV! Voice your feelings and thoughts: Make sure that your partner knows that the way they are behaving is making you feel uncomfortable, afraid, and vulnerable. The silent treatment is not useful, and serves as a barrier to effective communication. At worst, it is a weapon used by abusers to punish their victims. Let’s check in then.’ The silent treatment is one of the most common warning signs of relationship problems because it’s so easy for couples to fall into the habit of doing. The silent treatment is the refusal to engage in verbal communication with someone, often as a response to conflict in a relationship. Les Carter, Ph.D. The previous example with the narcissist illustrates that whoever is giving you the silent treatment wants to cause you emotional pain. But if giving the silent treatment has become a habit for your partner, then you should refuse to become the victim. If you were a victim of the silent treatment, don’t jump into … If they continue to give you ‘the silent treatment,’ you have no choice then to give them the space they are creating. “Talk about creating a time frame for the silent treatment to give the partner who’s choosing not to speak the space he or she needs to process their own emotions without hurting the other person. One sniff of blood in the form of any weak or emotional response to the silent treatment and the narcissist will go for the kill. This is one of … 5. If this is just the first time that your partner is giving you a silent treatment, be calm and kind instead of reacting negatively. It is a passive-aggressive approach to manipulate you into giving them the Narcissistic Supply that they crave. The term “silent treatment,” chillingly, comes from 19th-century prison reform.Instead of physical punishment or grueling work, which was believed to do nothing to truly alter the character of the criminal, prisoners would no longer be allowed to speak to each other and rarely be spoken to. Be ready for connection when they choose to reconnect. The silent treatment could mean that your friend is sick of your hurtful behavior and it's very possible they no longer want to be friends. The silent treatment (also known as withholding) is used to punish and regain control of a person. Understand What the Silent Treatment Is. When responding to the silent treatment, there are certain things that you should avoid which include the following: Never beg or plead. Change the negative pattern. In a relationship fueled with games, learning how to respond to the silent treatment coming your way will give you back your power. If the person keeps engaging, simply tell him you are not willing to engage at this time. Responding to silent treatment in marriage with your own version could collapse the relationship foundations. But it’s important, in part, because you are trying to model for them how you want them to interact with you. And if the narcissist cannot respond with common sense, keep moving. Schneider, Cikanavicius, and Health Writer Ann Pietrangelo all share keys ways to respond to a situation where a person thinks they are controlling you with the silent treatment: Ignore it … But the silent treatment isn’t fair, and it’s harmful to both parties. Basically, you don't say anything, not even if the person tries to engage you in conversation. In this video, I go into why narcissists use the silent treatment and how to respond to it. Plus, the silent treatment works particularly well on sensitive, empathic people (who are often quite attractive to narcissists), because we are wired to respond to and attempt to soothe the emotions of the people around us, especially those we love. Take Time to Cool Off During a time of silence both partners should pause to reflect on what led up to the silent treatment episode For example, instead of just going completely silent, the partner can say, ‘I need half an hour to myself. Don’t fall for their ‘horrible childhood’ or ‘family of origin wounding’ tales. It just escalates things. Also referred to as giving the cold shoulder or stonewalling, its use is a passive-aggressive form of control and can, in many circumstances, be considered a form of emotional abuse. A narcissist will react to any perceived slight, real or imagined with any punishment that they deem fits your crime, the silent treatment being a favourite in their arsenal. How to Respond to the Silent Treatment. How To Respond To The Silent Treatment? Sadly, the silent treatment often works as intended because it’s so unbearable, and people will do anything to make it stop. But it will only set a toxic a ‘who blinks first’ game in motion. It’s that simple. It may feel good to ignore your partner when you feel slighted but, it keeps you from finding real solutions to the problems that are bugging you the most. Make time for the both of you to cool off. Opening Communication Stay calm. Except in the case of silent treatment manipulation. The selfish. By Joseph Grenny. This helps no one. Dear Joseph, A couple of months ago, my father stopped answering phone calls and texts from my siblings and me. However, a temporary step off to allow your partner to cool down is usually the best solution. This may be a given, but there is a wide variety of overwhelming emotions that come with being ignored. For the one giving the silent treatment, it’s like drinking rat poison and expecting the other person to die. If your partner continues to give you the silent treatment time after time, help him work on redirecting the habit that has developed in his life. While it’s … 1. You actively choose not to respond to any comments, discussions, or accusations. He doesn’t have voicemail. To one partner, the silent treatment is their way of dealing with an argument, but to the other, it’s a sign of shutting down. The best response to the Narcissist Silent Treatment game is to move forward with your common sense leading the way. They also want you to chase after them and beg them to take you back. The silent treatment is a favourite tool of the narcissist. Do not retaliate. Practice the Golden Rule in how you respond. The silent treatment in a relationship is a form of emotional abuse. Through their silence, they are trying to make you feel uncomfortable. Dealing with a silent spouse can elicit a lot of negative emotions, and it can be hard to treat them the way you want to be treated. How to Respond If the Silent Treatment Is Used to Punish or Control. Wait until he begins speaking to you again, and then address the issue. It’s designed to infuriate you, create panic and worry, make you question everything you said before the episode happened. I’ve been on both sides of the silent treatment. But whenever you've discovered that the problem is you, you must acknowledge their feelings and sincerely apologize in the hope of salvaging your relationship. The narcissist is keenly … How can you cope with and respond to the silent treatment? This is best if your partner is only using the silent treatment to … We’ve reached out to his wife who says she doesn’t want to get in the middle of it. At best the silent treatment is an immature behavior used by spoiled brats and manipulative individuals. 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